In the gang, Benjamin was a soldier in a war. Paradoxically, the danger faced by gang members increases when they leave. His funeral was a tense juxtaposition of the people one meets in such a life. On August 7, 2015, he was shot dead in the middle of a market by unidentified gunmen. The third retired with permission from Barrio 18, found work at a chain of thrift stores run by evangelical Christians, went to church every day, and raised his toddler son. Another, a young man who also deserted MS-13 without permission, withdrew from our interviews, so ashamed of his past that he decided to amputate it, to banish his former self. Now she is paying to save her child’s life, and her own, with constant criminal favors. She changed her name, moved across the country, and had a child.
(“Benjamin” is a pseudonym as for most people in this article, to use his real name would cause an immediate threat to his life.) We met as part of a project: For four years, I followed four kids as they tried to leave their gangs. They reserved the right to call him back to active duty. They would observe his change to ensure it was genuine. He couldn’t ask them for favors or use his previous affiliation to gain anything. He had to check in regularly and couldn’t do anything to harm the gang, like snitching. And in that moment, he stood before his audience, the gang’s leaders, pleading for a second chance at life. He has cobalt hair cropped close and pupils so glossy dark they’re nearly mirrors. He is thin and angular his face runs from cheekbones to sharp nose to jutting jaw. He had earned his retirement.īenjamin is about 5 1/2 feet tall. Now he felt called to evangelical Christianity, so he had researched churches and chosen one that was strict no vices like alcohol or non-Christian music allowed. He had collected extortion taxes to feed and clothe the tens of thousands of members and their families and to hire defense lawyers when they were arrested. He delivered his speech: He had done much for the gang, killing dozens who wished the group harm, especially MS-13 rivals. He summoned the leaders of the area cliques. A few years after that, he found the courage to plot his escape. Within a few years, he saw that the gang’s promise was a siren song. Here were his wafer-thin options: Benjamin could remain passive, buffeted by the winds of danger and impunity. The gang, with its brotherhood and strict rules, promised him protection and stability.
Kids like him were either ignored or treated like criminality coursed through their veins. Neighborhoods like his were violent places where no one made a living wage, and the justice system was absent except to punish. He thought the gang looked cool by comparison it took him years to name the deeper attraction. He had joined at age 12 because his world didn’t feel right. He was 21 years old and had been in the gang for a decade. B enjamin suspected the Salvadoran gang Barrio 18 Revolucionarios would kill him when he asked permission to leave.